Author, Jack Frost - Experiencing Father’s Embrace
Excerpts from Chapter 7 – Dealing With Mother Issues
"Out of all the creatures in the animal kingdom, storks are some of the most loving and tender. Mother storks watch over and carefully nurture their babies, and adult storks care for one another and meet each other’s needs throughout life. Even when a stork becomes older and has difficulty keeping up with the others, another stork may fly alongside the elderly stork and allow it to rest its wings on theirs. These storks help each other fly more effectively and they are constantly touching, nurturing and protecting one another. It is no wonder that the Greeks used the word ‘storge to describe family love. It is storge love that speaks of nurture, empathy, affection and tenderness.
Among humans, just as it is in the animal kingdom, mothers are the primary caregivers and dispensers’ of storge love in the child’s first two years of life. The father’s primary years of influence are the third through fifth years, but the mother is the one who carries the baby in her womb imparting warmth, security, and trust. She then births the child, draws him to her breast, tenderly cares for him , and nurtures him. One of the connotations of the word nurture is to “cause something to come forth.” The mother’s storge love imparts faith in the child to trust bonding, to receive love and to express love.
Your relationship with your mother was your first experience with expressed love. Even in the womb, you either felt the emotional nurture and tenderness of your mother or you didn’t, and those vital tender bonding experienced helped form the way you felt about yourself, the world, and God.
During the nine months spent in the womb and throughout the first two years of life, the mother figure is the most important figure in a child’s life, having the strongest influence by the way she nurtures and expresses love to the child.
David demonstrated this principle in psalms when he declared to the LORD, “Yet Thou ar he who didst bring me forth from the womb; Thou didst make me trust when upon my mother’s breast. Upon The was I cast from birth; Thou hast been my GOD from my mother’s womb” (Psalm 22:9-10).
Babies learn how to trust life, relationships and even GOD when they are held, cuddled, fed and nourished at their mother’s breasts. And without the mother’s storge love, children may grow up with an inherent fear of relationships, and life that may be difficult to uproot. Storge Love is demonstrated in three primary ways by mothers:
Affectionate touch -
We were created for affection. Doctors have scientifically proven that without touch the body and the emotions become unhealthy. Touching someone says to them that they are important to you; they belong, and they have value. If we did not receive affectionate touch in the right way as a child, then in our teenage years we may allow ourselves to be touched in the wrong ways.
Eye contact -
The eyes are the windows of soul where love is communicated to a child.
They drink the love that flows to them from the eye contact with their parents.
If children don’t see understanding, loving looks in the eyes of their parents, it can leave a wound that remains…..
They then may feel awkward, insecure, separate, and out of place in their relationships.
Tone of voice -
Babies learn to bond and trust when their parents look them in the eye and speak to them loving words in an encouraging, gentle, tender, and empathizing voice.
It continues all through the formative years in the child. Loving tones nurture the soul and help the children feel acceptance and value so they can walk free from the fear of rejection and failure.
The Mother Heart of Father God
In the very nature of GOD, there is a mother’s heart, the storge love that nurtures and comforts us in tenderness and compassion. This has been present since the beginning of time, even in the creation of the world.
Gen. 1:26-27
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How could God have created the female “in His own image” if there is not some aspect to His nature and character that is feminine? While I am not taking it the extent that a few might, by saying the God is actually female, the nature of God does encompass both masculinity and femininity.
The masculine heart cries out to do, to form and create, to initiate, to know wisdom, and to rationalize and intellectualize.
The feminine heart seeks to be; it longs for communion and connection, to bond, and to know and to be known emotionally.
The power to receive lies in the femininity; the power to give lies in the masculinity.
This principle is beautifully demonstrated in the God’s creation of the sexual union between husband and wife; the man gives his sperm, and the woman receives it.
The heart of both giving and receiving of both action and relationship, is present in the nature of GOD who created the universe.
He not only wants to produce miracles for His people, but He also wants to experience intimacy with them.
He wants to provide his children with His love, and He wants to receive love from them as well. He created us for love and intimacy.
God values femininity because he desires intimacy with us, and He has placed mothers on the earth to impart to their children , both boys and girls, how to cultivate intimate compassionate, caring, and loving relationships.
Could there be some unholy scheme to destroy femininity on the earth? For 6,000 years, satan has had a special hatred for women. He has sought to destroy and devalue femininity in the hearts of mankind since the day in the Garden of Eden when the Lord God gave the woman (femininity – the heart of compassion, intimacy, communion, the ability to receive love) the power to defeat satan.
The woman was not cursed; the curse was imposed upon satan that he woman would bring great harm to his kingdom. Satan now fears a person (woman……or man) who walks in the intimacy that femininity brings forth (the heart of compassion, intimacy, communion, the ability to receive love); thus he seeks to wound us in our relationship with our mothers so that we reject femininity and a life of intimacy.
Gen 3:14-15
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Could it be that it is easier of the world to value masculinity because the enemy has sought to make the world and religion value performance and productivity more than intimate, caring relationships?
Could it be that he Church has lost some of its authority and power to overcome the evil one by putting a higher value upon masculine qualities (building and producing) than upon feminine qualities (communion and intimate, connected relationships)? Could it be that we need a healthier balance of both before we see a world revival?
The Mother Wound
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It has been proven that the thoughts and emotions of the mother can affect a child in the womb-that what the mother thinks, experiences, and feels can influence the emotions of the baby inside her.
At the moment of conception, a living spirit is created and there is a spirit-to-spirit communication between the mother and the child in the womb.
Habitual thoughts can create a response in the child in the womb.
A mother who has been addicted to cigarettes need only thing about smoking and the heartbeat of the baby will begin to rise.
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Studies reveal how children in the womb are affected by the environments of their mothers. …
(Some of the symptoms is denying femininity (bonding) and embracing only masculinity (performing).
In this book, the author Jack Frost shares the story of when his wife was pregnant with their daughter, due to the issues going on in their marriage and the sever health problems with their first born, she was not able to bond with their daughter.
She did not desire to be pregnant as she felt she couldn’t emotionally handle it.
By the time the daughter was nine years old, mom received emotional healing.
Speaking about the patterns of their daughter, “She had not allowed her femininity to be nurtured when she perceived rejection forming from her mother. Thus she rejected bonding to her mother’s love.”
Jack shares one of his reactions of not experiencing storge love when he was a young boy,
“ I’ll let no one touch my deepest needs! I’ll be self reliant and independent of needing people!”
“ This left the storge love unmet. God created me for this kind of love, and when I shut myself down from receiving it, all my eros (Greek word for physical attraction) love needs went haywire ……..”
The ability for me to walk in pure, loving relationships was confined behind walls of fear and separation.
……As He receive prayer over his inability to receive or communicate storge Love and the lack of comfort in his youth; “
Hidden core pain from the heart of the little boy (Jack Frost saying this about himself) began to surface.
"It was agonizing for me to submit to love and to have the walls of fear, separation, and isolation broken off my emotions and habit patterns of thought.”
Healing the mother wound
Storge is foundational to feeling secure and comforted.
It quiets and brings rest to your soul and gives you vision and purpose in life.
It makes you feel valued and gives you a sense that you belong.
You begin to believe in yourself and develop faith to live and overcome.
It equips you to conquer the fear of relationships and lowers walls of self protection.
It is difficult to teach someone how to love until they have experienced it.
Love and intimacy have been programmed into our genetic code because “His (GOD’s) seed abide in him (us) …1 John 3:9
The Greek word for seed is sperm. In Christ, God has placed his DNA, His genetic code within you, and God is LOVE. You are created in His image! You cannot help but be conformed to the attributes of God’s Love!
To fight against that you will need drugs! …………
Why not yield now to being conformed to the image of God’s love? Everything God has created within you has naturally been created for intimate, loving relationships. As you submit to love, it will begin to become more natural for you to do what your Father created you to do….to be an expression of His storge love to your family and then to the world.
Isaiah 49:15-16
Isaiah 66:11-13
Jeremiah 31:3; 1:5
Psalm 22:9-10
Psalm 27:10; 68:5-6; John 14:18
PRAYER
Say this aloud:
Mom,
I needed your comfort and expressed love so much. I didn’t realize just how much I needed it until now. But Mom, because of your own emotional crisis, you weren’t always able to express to me the love that I needed. There were times when I needed to hear tender tones in your voice, but instead your words pierced my heart. There were times I needed to see in your eyes that you loved me, even when I failed in your eyes.
There were times I needed to be drawn to the comfort of your bosom and be held, but you weren’t there. Mom, I forgive you for all of these times because you did not know what you were doing. You too were hurt and wounded in your youth. I forgive you for not knowing how to express love to me in the way that I needed. I forgive you for not knowing how to take me in your arms and provide that place of safety and comfort. I forgive you inability to open you r heart to me in a way that would cause me to believe and trust fully in your love. I forgive you for your inability to provide me with the affectionate touch, the loving eye contact, and the nurture in your bosom that I so needed.
I release you from any resentment or bitterness. I honor you as my mother, the woman who gave me life and brought me into the world. Thank you for this gift of life. I commit myself to walk in an attitude of love and forgiveness toward you from this day forward.
God wants to make known His affectionate love to you, especially in the areas where you need His love the most. He declares that He will demonstrate His love to you, through one or more of your five sense I a supernatural encounter with His storge love. He desires for you to be at home in His Love.
John 14:21, 23; 16:27
PRAYER -
Father God,
I come to You longing to experience Your comforting, mothering heart. You are the only one who can meet the deepest need for storge love in my life. I bring my earthly mother to the foot of the cross and release her from any wounds and pain she caused in my life. Please forgive me for any resentment or bitterness I may have harbored toward her, and help me walk in forgiveness and love toward my earthly parent.
I confess that I have turned to counterfeit affections rather than to You to seek the storge love that I needed to fill the void in my heart. Some to the choices that I have made have been wrong, and I repent from any impure thoughts, fantasies, or lust that I have allowed to breed in my mind and my emotions forgive me for not trusting You to meet all my needs.
I come to You now, lay my head on your breast, and rest peacefully, knowing that You love and care for me. In Jesus’ name, amen.
Now enter into the rest that you have been searching for all of your life. Find a quiet place to sit, and let gentle, loving music play over you. Enter into father God’s mother heart as He gives you the things that your own mother was not able to give. Receive a mother’s affirmation and acceptance pouring into you. Receive nurture and comfort. Receive Him playing all the games with you that your mother was not able to play. Receive Him taking all the seriousness out and pouring playfulness and joy and displaying the intensity. Receive Him drawing you into a special place in His heart where you will never be forsaken or forgotten. Enter into His rest as His affectionate love cast out all fear."
“My child, you have always been with Me, and all that is Mine is yours…I will never desert you, nor will I ever forsake you.”
Luke 15:31; Hebrews 13:5
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